NewsJack Episode 4 Submission

NewsJack Episode 4 Submission

I was very undecided about submitting this week after last week’s situation. However, if I do want to be a comedy writer then I really do need to keep submitting comedy where-ever I can. So submit I did and this is what I came up with.

Breaking News (about the news)

Google Self Driving car has been in an accident. It saw a gap in the traffic and the computer worked out you could fit a bus through there. It turned out you could, but not at the same time as a google self-driving car. The US has had the largest Methane Leak in history. Blame is thought to lie with an obnoxious Trump currently sweeping the nation. The Smiler ride at Alton Towers is to reopen. It now won’t cost an Arm or a Leg to ride.

Views Jack (vox pox about the news)

After I proposed on the leap day, my boyfriend said he was just popping out for a bit, I think he was going to get a ring. Its been over 24 hours, how long should it take him? There has been a lack of Ginger Nuts since the flooding last year. Why this affected the birth of Scottish boys I’ll never know. I don’t care Wetherspoons has axed its Sunday roast dinners. I now cook at home. I say ‘cook’ but really I just open a can of Stella while my kids run around screaming.

This is what I had at 9.30am on the Tuesday of submission.

I liked it but I felt that Breaking News #3 might be dismissed as in poor taste. At 11.45am it had been replaced and I’d tidied up a few of the other jokes.

BREAKING NEWS:

GOOGLE SELF DRIVING CAR HAS BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT. IT SAW A GAP IN THE TRAFFIC AND THE COMPUTER WORKED OUT YOU COULD FIT A BUS THROUGH THERE. IT TURNED OUT YOU COULD, BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME AS A GOOGLE SELF-DRIVING CAR. THE US HAS HAD THE LARGEST METHANE LEAK IN HISTORY. BLAME IS THOUGHT TO LIE WITH AN OBNOXIOUS TRUMP CURRENTLY SWEEPING THE NATION. GREGGS IS TO CLOSE 3 BAKERIES. JOB LOSSES MEAN HUNDREDS OF ROLES WILL GO. AND THERE WONT BE ANY CORNISH PASTIES EITHER.

VIEWJACK:

AFTER I PROPOSED ON FEBRUARY 29TH, MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE WAS JUST POPPING OUT FOR A BIT. I THINK HE WAS GOING TO GET A RING BUT ITS BEEN OVER 24 HOURS, HOW LONG SHOULD IT TAKE HIM? MCVITTIES HAS BLAMED A LACK OF GINGER NUTS ON THE FLOODING LAST YEAR. WHY THIS AFFECTED THE BIRTH OF SCOTTISH BOYS I’LL NEVER KNOW. I DON’T CARE WETHERSPOONS HAS AXED ITS SUNDAY ROAST DINNERS. I NOW COOK AT HOME. I SAY ‘COOK’ BUT REALLY I JUST OPEN A CAN OF STELLA WHILE MY KIDS RUN AROUND SCREAMING.

I had a pair of tickets for this recording also so if they choose to perform something of mine, I will be there to see it!

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