NewsJack Series 20 Episode 3
This week I sent in some good week/bad weeks.
ONELINERS
BREAKING NEWS:
- Network Rail have asked for £80 Million to protect the train track from the sea at Dawlish or otherwise travellers will have to use the congested roads. A company spokesman has said, “Its my way, or the highway.”
- The artist Ai Weiwei has hit out at being censored in his latest project. A Chinese Censorship Official has said, “Its my way, or the Ai Weiwei.”
- The US government wants to ban the use Huawei in their IT infrastructure, instead using their own US brand electronics. A US Government Official has said that America has two options, “Its my way, or the Huawei.”
I wrote 2 & 3 and then decided that i’d have to find something else to make a trio of ‘my way or the high way’ jokes. I didn’t think the NewsJack team would use them. They would have had to have used all 3 or none and I doubted they’d use all 3. I was right!
I did write a 3rd joke that wasn’t in the theme.
“The UK’s only manufacturer of display fireworks has gone into administration. It was thought it would go out with a band, but turned out to be a damp squib.”
Much more a NewsJack joke. But they’ll never use it now I’ve not sent it in!
NEWSJACKIPEDIA:
- A Funny Tinge – The shade you go after using inappropriate words to describe people of colour.
- Border Walling – The excuse you make to your partner so they let you go out drinking with friends. A made up state of emergency.
- Hondaring – To pretend you don’t want to leave a situation when secretly you’ve wanted to go for ages.
They must have got a million ‘Funny Tinge’ jokes and I didn’t want to be left out!
Another wall reference from Twon? Surely not.
Hondaring – I liked this. They didn’t. They were wrong!
and now for the good week/bad week.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
- It’s been a bad week for Netflix Fans as neither Jessica Jones or The Punisher gets renewed. But it’s been a good week for everyone else who have two less series to pretend they will watch when their friends recommend them.
- It’s been a bad week for Wolves as they have been drawn against Manchester United in the FA Cup Quarter Round. But it’s been a good week for Wolves as all they had planned was running around in a pack and howling at the moon.
- It’s been a bad week for People of Colour as Angela Smith describes them as having ‘a funny tinge’. But it’s been a good week for Crayola as were just about to release a new crayon and weren’t sure what to call the colour.
I couldn’t find a way I was entirely happy to word the first one.
2. I liked because it is silly.
3. Fancied using ‘funny tinge’ again. So sue me.
Nothing got broadcast.
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