NewsJack Series 20 Episode 3

This week I sent in some good week/bad weeks.

ONELINERS

BREAKING NEWS:

  1. Network Rail have asked for £80 Million to protect the train track from the sea at Dawlish or otherwise travellers will have to use the congested roads. A company spokesman has said, “Its my way, or the highway.”
  2. The artist Ai Weiwei has hit out at being censored in his latest project. A Chinese Censorship Official has said, “Its my way, or the Ai Weiwei.”
  3. The US government wants to ban the use Huawei in their IT infrastructure, instead using their own US brand electronics. A US Government Official has said that America has two options, “Its my way, or the Huawei.”

I wrote 2 & 3 and then decided that i’d have to find something else to make a trio of ‘my way or the high way’ jokes. I didn’t think the NewsJack team would use them. They would have had to have used all 3 or none and I doubted they’d use all 3. I was right!

I did write a 3rd joke that wasn’t in the theme.

“The UK’s only manufacturer of display fireworks has gone into administration. It was thought it would go out with a band, but turned out to be a damp squib.”

Much more a NewsJack joke. But they’ll never use it now I’ve not sent it in!

NEWSJACKIPEDIA:

  1. A Funny Tinge – The shade you go after using inappropriate words to describe people of colour.
  2. Border Walling – The excuse you make to your partner so they let you go out drinking with friends. A made up state of emergency.
  3. Hondaring – To pretend you don’t want to leave a situation when secretly you’ve wanted to go for ages.

They must have got a million ‘Funny Tinge’ jokes and I didn’t want to be left out!

Another wall reference from Twon? Surely not.

Hondaring – I liked this. They didn’t. They were wrong!

and now for the good week/bad week.

GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:

  1. It’s been a bad week for Netflix Fans as neither Jessica Jones or The Punisher gets renewed. But it’s been a good week for everyone else who have two less series to pretend they will watch when their friends recommend them.
  2. It’s been a bad week for Wolves as they have been drawn against Manchester United in the FA Cup Quarter Round. But it’s been a good week for Wolves as all they had planned was running around in a pack and howling at the moon.
  3. It’s been a bad week for People of Colour as Angela Smith describes them as having ‘a funny tinge’. But it’s been a good week for Crayola as were just about to release a new crayon and weren’t sure what to call the colour.

I couldn’t find a way I was entirely happy to word the first one.

2. I liked because it is silly.

3. Fancied using ‘funny tinge’ again. So sue me.

Nothing got broadcast.