NewsJack Series 20 Episode 2
Another Week. Another NJ Submission
- Taxi Drivers to face criminal record checks. Concerns have been raised that police will find copies of Milli Vanilli’s “Girl You Know Its True” or Kajagoogoo’s “Too Shy”.
- The Government is being sued for rushing through a contract of £14 Million for Seabourne Freight to supply no ferries. They should have come to me, I’d have supplied them with no ferries for just £10 million.
- Roughly 1.8 million complaints to the council about unemptied bins in the last year. Roughly 1.8 million votes between leave and remain in the Brexit Referendum. Co-incidence? I think not.
Taxi Driver joke – I spent longer than I should have trying to decide on dodgy albums. Just before submission I swapped them round as I felt ‘Kajagoogoo’ needed to go last.
I’m sure I’ve submitted somethign like the 2nd joke before.
I liked the 3rd joke. I am embelishing the truth a little as I think it was 1.4 million more people voted ‘leave’. It felt like a NewsJack joke but there was a worry they might not want to do something that supported remain. Turns out they didnt.
- ‘Farage’ – Something you flush down the toilet and it disappears but sometime later it re-appears back in the bowl.
- ‘Maypole Dancing’ – distracting people with a carefully orchestrated dance where, when you finish it, you end up exactly where you started, but tied up in tape you can’t escape.
- ‘Walling’ – An American act of self-harm designed to show the right-wing you mean business in keeping those foreigners out. (see also ‘Brexiting’)
Farage – funny.
Maypole Dancing. It was about her going back to europe to ‘renegotiate’. Only after I submitted I thought they might link it just to her dancing from last year.
Walling. I like this format (see also…) but Newsjack don’t. Their loss!
I’d not noticed the new section of goodweek/bad week. At least they have got rid of the numberjacks. Goodweek/bad week doesn’t work much better as a format (in my view).